Hold
by KrRcksMySx
Summary: COMPLETED! Blackwater Something terrible happens, and Leah has to rely on Jacob for help. Based of song by Superchick "Hold" Better than it sounds... Rated for sexual themes and swearing.
1. Chapter 1

I heard this song, when I got the new Superchick CD (Their lyrics are ahmazing!) Its called Hold (Hence the title).

I thought up a story after this song, cause I thought the song really could be talking about how Leah needs Jake to help her.

So anyways, I don't own anything... cuz I'm a loser...

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Hold

Tell me that it's gonna be okay

tell me that you'll help me find my way

tell me you can see the light of dawn is breaking

tell me that it's gonna be all right

tell me that you'll help me fight this fight

tell me that you won't leave me alone in this

Cause I need

I need a hand to hold

to hold me from the edge

the edge I'm sliding over slowly

Cause I need

I need your hand to hold

to hold me from the edge

the edge I'm sliding past

hold on to me.

Tell me I can make it through this day

I don't even have the words to pray

you have been the only one who never left me.

Help me find the way through all my fears

help me see the light through all my tears

help me see that I am not alone in this.

"I'm thinking lately" I told him. He turned to me, looking alarmed. "I know that I don't know everything right now, but I've decided on Kari if it's a girl." I said looking into his chocolate eyes, hoping to find that ever present expression of acceptance and protection. He graced me with that look, and reached across the void between us on the couch and took my small hands in his big ones.

"You can name it whatever you want Leah, as long as it's appropriate. There will be no Polly Esther or it's initials spelling something something bad." He said and I smiled a little. I seemed to me doing a lot more of that lately. And that was only due to Jacob. But that's not the beginning of my story.

I'm going to assume that you know I turned into a freak-of-nature werewolf a little less than a year ago. And after all of that Cullen drama I had become Beta for Jake's separate pack. Well life had pretty much calmed down after all that; Jake had an imprinting scare with that little Cullen brat but it turned out to be nothing.

I even started taking classes at the community college. I wasn't sure what I was going to end up doing with my life at the time, but my life was looking up and I was finally feeling happiness again.

I was a nineteen-year-old with a dream, and freedom. I wasn't constantly bombarded with the crap loaded on me from the pack. I patrolled when it was my turn, and came occasionally to pack meetings, but I wasn't always involved in it like the hormonal teenage boys were. Embry and Quill joined Jake's pack, so I wasn't as needed as before. I was still Beta, but I had freedoms, and I loved them.

I even had new friends, outside of the reservation. I had met them from the community college, and had gone to parties with them, and just plain hung-out with my new friends. I felt normal, I did normal things like study for tests, go out for coffee, and flirt with cute guys.

But I didn't miss the looks I got from a certain werewolf in my pack. The way his eyes lingered over my body, and how he made me laugh when no one else could. I knew there was something between Jacob and I, but I kept telling myself that he was only sixteen, and I was nineteen. Not only is it illegal, but it's just wrong. So I stuck with my older boys.

It was a Thursday, I remember it was raining that afternoon. But that night, when it happened, it was barely drizzling. It was a full moon, I could see it peeping through the leaves of the trees as I lay there. I had been at a party that night, up until 11:41 when I left to go to the little store in the reservation to pick up milk for home. I was walking back home with the milk in tow when it happened.

I felt hands pull at my dress. It was ripped from my body. I was cold and afraid. I couldn't think, looking back I should have phased, but everything happened too fast. It's mostly a blur to me, but the searing pain I remember. I felt like I was ripping. I felt myself shaking, but not in anger, in fear. Which is something I had never done before.

When he was done, he just got up and ran off. He didn't say anything the entire time but one word.

"Leah"

He didn't really say it, it was more like moaning. He was liking it, I could tell. It didn't even really seem like a rape. He didn't talk to me dirty, he didn't do anything but... Well, it.

I lay on the cold forest floor, completely naked for I don't know how long. I could see the sky turning, as a sign of dawn when I finally stood up and phased to get back home as quick as I could. I ran strait to my room and into my bathroom, curling up inside the bathtub.

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	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Hope this is as good as the first chappie! Let me know!

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Hold Chapter 2

I was in a comatose state for days. I didn't eat, I didn't move, I didn't do anything but sleep and stare at the wall at the right side of my bed.

My mom had come to talk to me several times. She would sit on my bed and try to get a few words out before she got completely exasperated and would get up and leave throwing her hands up in the air. After a while she just sat and rubbed my back and would cry. She just kept saying it.

"Why? Why are you doing this Leah? I don't understand, no one can help you if you don't tell us whats wrong."

I have to give my mother credit though, she held things together pretty well for my brother's sake. She told him not to worry, that I was just sick. She almost had even me convinced.

But then the memory slide show would start to play again. Those sick, twisted images of what had happened to me. I would hold onto myself tighter and tighter, I was mad at myself. I could have made it stop, I'm a freaking werewolf for crying out loud! A huge, giant, wild animal.

It hurt knowing I could have stopped it, and not only that but also that I probably knew this guy. He certainly knew me. He knew my name, he moaned it over and over again. He was probably from the reservation. I shudder at the thought.

I'm really starting to think God hates me, I mean just when things start to look up I get thrown into the worst of situations.

I thought my mother would keep my little meltdown in our house, but I was wrong. Because guess who showed up after school with my little brother?

I could hear Seth whispering to someone outside my door, I couldn't quite figure out who it was or what they were saying, but I knew someone was there. I was still staring at the wall, while laying on my side, so I didn't see the person when they opened the door and walked in. But then they closed the door behind them, which sent all the air to circulate back to me. So I could smell him, his woody masculine scent that I knew oh so well.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, curling into a ball as he drew near to my side. I could hear his heart beat, it was faster than normal. He felt scared for me.

"Hey, I heard you're not feeling too hot." He said trying to sound casual, but his voice had that uneasy lilt to it. "Mind if I chill with you?" He asked me.

I opened my mouth for the first time since it happened. "Jake..." I started sobbing and heaving, shaking uncontrollably, and I held myself tighter. I felt like I had to hold myself together, otherwise I would shatter into a million tiny pieces.

He sat next to me on the bed and touched my arm, in an affectionate way. "Leah, I don't think I've ever seen you cry before." He said to me. I felt his big strong arms try to wrap me up and comfort me, but that brought back the picture show.

I started screaming and kicking I did not want him touching me. I ended up sitting up in the opposite corner of my bed, shaking and looking at him as if he were deranged. I remember his face very distinctly. It was the worst mix of bewilderment and hurt. He had never touched me before, that I can remember, and if he had it was just a brush of the shoulder or something of the like.

I started crying again, and he sat there not knowing what to do. I was on the edge of hysterics when he finally decided to end my tears. He tenderly took my hands in his and held them to his face, which made me stop to see what it was he was doing.

"What... What..." I was blubbering at him and he smiled the little funny smile he had when he was trying to make you feel better, but he felt sorry for you at the same time.

"Leah, calm down. Just tell me what happened." he said, dropping my hands and reaching for my face. I shunned his hands, and looked at that stupid wall again.

"I..." I was reaching for words. I couldn't find any.

"Show me." he said. I knew he meant for me to phase.

"You don't want to see." I told him.

"It's an order, I can't have my Beta acting like this." He said trying to be comforting but at the same time demanding.

He took my hand and lead me to the edge of the woods in my back yard. The pictures started again and I tore off the clothes I had on. I had to tell someone how much it hurt, how much it pained me, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I had to tell him.

I let the transformation take over my body and he had seamlessly joined me. I let the floodgates go on my memories of what had happened to me. Each snapshot just flood out into the open, so he could see and feel them.

The clerk at the store handing me my change.

The ringing of the bell on the door as I opened it to step outside.

The edge of the tree line that I was about to go into to walk the shortcut home.

The sudden rip of my dress.

The burning hand on my arm.

The feeling of the rough tree bark as I was pushed against it.

The sudden, painful entry.

The moaning of my name.

The way he just ran off and left me alone.

Jake sat up and let and painful and angry howl escape into the sky.

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	3. Chapter 3

I hate him. I really really hate him.

I don't care that he was the only one I could talk to. I don't care that he's my "Alpha." I don't care that he's caring about me. I just hate him.

He knows how much I can't stand them, all of them. Stupid bloodsuckers. For some reason, unknown to me, Jacob Black thinks that they're great. He goes over just to visit. I don't know how he can stand it, I mean there's the stench, the sugary sweetness of their personality that's obviously fake, and their overall creepiness.

But he's dragged me over here to be surrounded by the horrible smell, for hours. Yes, hours, I've been here forever just getting some stupid tests done. What would really help is if that stupid mind reader, went around town finding out who the fucker is! But that opinion was quickly shot down by Jacob's wide-eyed and panicked expression in the car as we drove over.

The ride itself was quite awkward. Jacob drove me over to the Cullen's in his little rabbit. Which was sort of comical, since two giant werewolves were crammed into his tiny car. But other than that for the longest time I just stared out the window.

Jacob and I hadn't really talked much since I showed him in the forest what had happened to me. Jacob would talk to me, but I wouldn't answer him. I felt ashamed about what had happened to me. I didn't want to talk about it at all. I mean, I feel that now that I've told someone, I shouldn't have to deal with it anymore. I feel like what I need to do is just forget all about it.

And of course, Jacob brings it up every few minutes like a freaking egg timer. He thinks I should talk to someone about it, I just want to forget it, he wants me to stop classes, I don't want to. I still want a life! I've waited forever to get over this stupid werewolf curse, and I am not going to just give up on what I've worked on.

Jacob had to use his Alpha command on me just to get me to see the Cullen doctor. I crossed my arms and pouted the entire time. But as he pulled up the drive and put the car in park, he turned to me and said me the words that cut me to the bone.

"Leah..." He trailed off and looked down at his big hands in his lap, obviously searching for words. "I know that you and I are totally different people. I'm not oblivious to our fighting, we're doing it right now. But I want you to know that I care about you, I'm your friend. I want to be there for you." He said, looking into my eyes, boring into my soul.

I just looked at him for a while, not moving or speaking. I narrowed my eyes, deciding to be strong, cynical bitch Leah instead of hurt and scared Leah, which was what I really was.

"Jacob, just shut up so I can get this over with." I said through gritted teeth, putting on the tough front again. I opened the door and did an exaggeration of gagging from the smell before slamming it behind me.

I looked up at that ridiculous glass house, that held those stupid vamps and snarled my nose. I figured the mind reader could already hear my thoughts and started to think about how annoying his little spawn was, making sure to refer to her as the evil spawn in my thoughts. I loved getting under his skin.

As if on cue, Edward stepped outside and held the door for Jacob and I to come in. When he looked at me, he didn't look annoyed like he usually did, but he had a sad, sorry look on his face. I cursed him in my head for feeling sorry for me. I didn't want that bloodsucker feeling sorry for me, I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me. I knew I wasn't meant to be happy, God made it that way. People didn't have to rub it in, by giving me the 'I'm so sorry look' when they saw me.

I gave that 'Edward' a nice glare and sent him a big fat finger in my thoughts, as I followed Jacob inside the house. The chirpy one skipped to my side, and took my hand in hers, and held it to her chest. Which is ironic, because the gesture is meant to bring it close to your heart, to show you that you feel for the person with your heart. And since she's a vamp, she DOESN'T HAVE ONE! Ugh! I'm so sick of these bloodsuckers trying to befriend me and do human things as if they are one.

The girl, Alice I guess her name is, got that sad look on her face too and started to talk to me. "Oh, Leah! Edward told me all about it! Oh how I wish I could see your future dear! I definitely would have done something, Oh I'm so sorry." She said to me, grasping my hand in hers.

"Gee, thanks." I hissed at her, with my eyes in slits. I felt Jake's grip on my other arm, tighten and I turned away from her, going up the stairs after him. And here I am, now. Sitting in this little room waiting on Carlisle to come back to me.

I knew that Jake was probably downstairs playing with that little spawn, she was probably giggling and he was doing something stupid. My heart always sank when I thought of him playing with that little girl. I hated little kids now. I didn't actually hate hate them, just the fact that I couldn't have any. I didn't watch them at all. It just the same old, want what you can't have.

I was burst out of my pity bubble when Cullen came in to tell me what my tests showed. He pulled up a chair across from me and sat down. He flipped through a pile of papers in his hands and then he sighed.

"What? Do I have an STD? I mean, I have super speed healing right? So shouldn't I just get over it?" I asked him, as fear crept into my body, I sat on the edge of the couch and held my breath waiting for him to say something.

He sighed again and then looked up at me with the same expression his son and daughter had held for me. I balled my fists in reaction to the look he gave me. He stood up suddenly, and walked out of the room and called for Jacob to come up. He added Edward's name at the end too. I stood up myself, My fists clenched so tightly I could feel the warm blood coming out of the crescents that my nails were digging into my palms.

I could hear Jake bounding up the stairs, and my heart started pounding in my chest. I knew Edward was probably behind him, but naturally, since he was a vamp, you couldn't hear him. They both came through the door at the same time, Edward looked up at Carlisle, and Jake looked up at me. The look on Jacob's face was much worse than the looks the Cullens had given me, he looked scared shitless.

I watched Edward for clues as to what was going on, but he didn't give anything away, he just held that sad look on his face for me to see. I knew this had to be bad, he had called in the two of them, probably to keep he held down if I lost it or something.

The Cullen doc motioned for the guys to sit down and then he asked me to sit down in between them on that couch. The doc closed his eyes, and sighed again.

"Go ahead and tell her Carlisle. She's getting antsy." Edward said, breaking the silence. Carlisle opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Well, the good news is that you are healthy, you don't have any diseases." He said, and then he got very serious. I noticed Edward looked over at Jake, nervously but I pushed it aside.

"God, just tell me!" I yelled at him. The intensity of Carlilse's stare maddened me, I heard the couch rip under my hands, I was gripping onto it so hard.

"Well, I don't really know how to say it kindly. I'm just struggling for words. I've told other people in your situation this before, but I didn't know them, those people weren't my friends. Leah..." He sighed again, before he crushed my world.


	4. Chapter 4

I think I should just crawl into a hole and die. But once again, I decided to share this idea with Jacob and screwed myself because now he's hovering over me and wont leave me alone. Now he didn't actually decide to start hovering because of what I said, but the not leaving me alone is probably my doing. He's pretty dedicated, I have to hand him that. He officially moved into our house, no I'm not kidding he stopped at his house on our way home from the vamp cave to get his stuff so he could be with me at all times.

Stupid Edward, and his stupid mind reading powers got Jake all worried about me. So what if I was thinking about suicide after that doctor told me I'm prego with a rape baby. I would think that would be a normal response. Damn all those fucking Cullens.

So now I wake up screaming for over half the days of the week because an overprotective Alpha is standing right over me when I wake up. "What the fuck Black?!" That stupid boy, I swear I'm gonna kill him.

"Look, I was just checking up on you. You just seem to wake up whenever I do. Sorry." Jacob shrugged and scratched the back of his head before letting his arms flop down. He was wearing the same gray shirt that he had on yesterday I noticed, but at least he was wearing one, most of the guys just roamed around half naked.

"I've decided suicide is overrated, so you don't have to worry." I said as I sat up in bed too quickly, giving myself a headache. "Damn!" I said clutching at my head in anguish, which sent Jacob to come scurrying to my side.

"What? Are you okay? What's wrong?" He asked as his hands found their way to mine. My skin did the funniest thing then, it tingled, at the exact moment and spot that his fingertips were touching. It freaked me out a little, so I shook his touch away, trying to make it stop.

"God, Black! You sure you ain't got ovaries? Cause your acting like a mother. God, it's just a headache." I yelled at him. "Don't you have school or something to be at?" I added, trying to find a way to get rid of him.

"It's a Saturday. And besides I don't need school, I'm gonna be a mechanic remember? You don't need school to do that."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. There is no good reason not to get at least your GED."

"Well excuse me miss college girl." He pouted. "Hey, remember you have a checkup today."

Shit and double shit.

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"Well everything looks great Leah, You're taking great care of this little one, I can tell." The Cullen doc told me as he took the freezing stethoscope from my stomach. Jacob was sitting in a chair across from me and looked at the doc like his life depended on what he said. "I'm going to ask you to start taking some vitamins and I want you to stop phasing, Leah."

I narrowed my eyes at him. Is he serious? Phasing just happens, I'm past controlling my anger enough to stop. However, Jacob spoke up before I could verbally abuse the doc.

"That's not exactly an easy feat Carlisle. Especially since Leah is already prone to anger, and well..." He looked over at me, obviously trying to tiptoe around the situation.

"The fact that I was raped? Yeah that angers me a little Jake." I spewed at both of them. I hadn't phased since that day when I had shown Jake what had happened, because I didn't want the entire pack having all that in their heads, but I couldn't tell someone, especially a fucking bloodsucker that I wouldn't do it anymore and to give up that freedom.

The vamp gave me that pathetic look again and I sprang off the hospital bed I was sitting on, going for the vamp. I sank my nails into his skin and clenched his shoulders before I leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Give me that look again and I won't just leave a mark," I said as I dug my nails further into his skin. "There won't be any of you left." I threatened as I flung him away from me, and raced out the door and through the hallway of the hospital to the edge of the woods and then stopped.

I was going to phase, but a little voice in my head told me not to. I don't know why I actually listened to that voice but I did. _You could hurt it._

Why should I care about that stupid spawn? It came from whoever that bastard is who raped me. I don't want this stupid thing anyway, why not just 'accidentally' kill it? _It's not all about you anymore Leah. _

I have to admit, that got to me. This, thing, was trusting in me to take care of it. I had gotten one of those awful chain e-mails back in high school about that baby that was talking to it's mother and then she got an abortion and killed it. That had me bawling my eyes out, and had me vowing never, no matter what to never ever have an abortion.

But this is different. I mean, I never thought in a million years that I would get raped. Besides, I'm not really going to 'mean' to kill it. I'm not gonna go to a fucking clinic or anything. And I don't even know if phasing would even kill it. How much could that hurt anything?

"Leah!" I heard Jacob yell at me, and I was jolted from my thoughts. Great, he was probably gonna yell at me for hurting his precious vamp.

"Just leave me the fuck alone Black! I don't wanna deal with you right now." I yelled ahead of me not bothering to turn around to talk to him as I walked ahead of him.

"Leah, I did some research. Did you know right now that baby has a heartbeat? It has fingers and it can see light in there." He told me as he gestured to my stomach.

"Shouldn't you be scolding me for attacking your precious bloodsucker?" I asked him, crossing my arms over my chest. I was trying to put on the tough act, but failing miserably.

"Leah, I know you don't like them, but I also know your hurt." I started to protest, but he interrupted me. "Even if your not going to admit it."

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"Hey! I'm taking a shower, and this time Seth, do not pick the lock to get in so you can take a shit! Your a werewolf, you can squat outside." I turned the knob turning on the shower. I started to take off my clothes, carefully folding each of them and placing them on the sink counter when the mirror caught my eye. I looked at my naked body, realizing in less than a month or two I would look completely different. On closer examination I realized that there was the tiniest bump there. And while I was in the shower, just letting the water roll off my body warming it, I knew what I was doing. I knew what my plan was.

And I did need help.

I needed Jacob Black's help.

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I just want to note that I don't support abortion, and seccondly...

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	5. Chapter 5

I started down the stairs after I finished my shower, feeling refreshed and clean but I had the bubbly, nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had never been the type to ask for help, even before I was the 'bitter harpy' that all the guys in the pack called me. I had always been the type to get things done on my own, and if I had gotten myself in trouble, I was sure as hell gonna get myself out of it, all on my own.

I reached the bottom of the stairs, but hid in the shadows and watched the boys from my hiding spot. I peeked over the corner, I was behind the couch Seth was lounging on, watching some sort of animal show on the television, and Jake was sitting next to him reading something. I took a deep breath and decided it was now or never and I might as well just get it all over with.

I stepped out and came up on Seth, ruffling his hair, despite the fact that he hated that. "What cha watching?" I asked him, leaning on the back of the couch

"It's National Geographic, they're having a special about wolves." I could see that now, since the screen was full of wolves roaming about. "Did you know that the female wolf will put off a scent when it's prime mating time that will draw male wolves to mate with her?" Seth asked me. God that kid is so weird, he's always watching the animal planet and National Geographic. He told me a while ago that he wanted to be a veterinarian. I guess he thinks he can identify with animals because he's half of one. Like I said, he's weird.

"That's great! So do you think that guy raped me because it was prime mating time?" I asked him. He turned to look at me with horror on his face. I noticed that Jacob also turned to me, with a worried expression on his face. They didn't say anything, just looked at me with that horrified expression on their faces. "Jeez, I was kidding!"

I looked over at Jacob who had replaced the horrified look with a curious one. The show Seth was watching went to commercial, and he stood up to stretch. "Seth, um..." I looked up at him and blushed. Jacob, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, took notice to that. "Could I have a minute?" I asked, nodding to Jake. Seth's eyes widened in shock. Which I can understand, since I usually hid from Jake and his hovering, or at least tried to.

"Yeah, I uh... I was going to just take a..." He trailed off, looking over at Jacob, his Alpha, for permission, as if he would have to ask. Jacob slightly nodded and Seth continued. "I was going to uh... Take a shower! Yeah, that's it take a sh..." He mumbled as he trudged upstairs.

I crossed around the couch, and sat down next to Jacob. "Your reading." I asked more than stated, he hated school and reading, so it was rare. "And something so large." I said impressed, since his book was three to four inches wide.

He laughed. "It's a car manual." He said, and I sighed. I should have known better.

"So it's really just a bunch of pictures isn't it?" I asked him condescendingly. He smiled and laughed again.

"So what if it is?" He asked, defending himself. I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe I was going to ask this from that boy. He put his book down and reached for the remote, turning down the volume on the television. "What is it you wanted to talk about?" He asked me, turning serious as he put down the manual he had been looking at.

My throat tightened and I coughed trying to loosen it. There is no reason to be so scared Leah, I told myself, it's not as if I'm asking him to die for me or something. Good god! "I want you to know, first off... That I have never done this before. And it's freaking me out a little." I told him, sucking in a deep breath.

He raised an eyebrow, and turned to face me. "Okay?" He said cautiously.

"I'm admitting something to you. I..." I could feel my heart pounding in my throat and swallowed. I stated getting that feeling you get when you know your going to start crying. You know the way your mouth turns down at the corners and it feels as if it's glued shut, and you have to breathe, but when you open your mouth you start to make the dry sobbing noise. And then you try to close your mouth to make it stop but you can't, it just keeps opening and closing then finally you can feel the warm tears falling down your cheeks and you feel relieved.

Jacob didn't look relieved. He started freaking out. "Leah! Don't cry, hey! Don't worry, it's okay." He tried to console me, but it didn't matter because I didn't need it. I hadn't cried in forever, and I had forgotten how good it felt, to trust someone to see you cry, and to console you. I could feel him trying to wrap himself around me like a cocoon, to secure me and make me feel safe.

I turned to him, and tried to wipe the tears away, to clear my self of emotion so I could talk just a few words and be able to communicate with Jake. "I nee.. I... I need..." I sobbed, and Jacob looked into my eyes, trying to understand what I was trying to say, I suppose. But it just caused me to start crying again.

He probably thought that I was crazy, that this whole ordeal had finally cracked Leah's shell and she just went wacko. But that's not what it had done to me, instead it had caused me to realize something I never had before.

This sixteen year old boy sitting next to me on the couch was not just my little brother's friend, as I had always thought before. This sixteen year old was committed to helping me. He put up with me, and he took care of me.

"Jacob..." I took a breath again, trying to calm myself. "Jake, I need you." I closed my eyes to say the rest, because I was too scared to look at him.

"I know that sounds so completely sappy, like a lifetime movie, but I'm beginning to feel like my whole fucking life is a lifetime movie. I just know that I can't do this on my own. I need you to hold my hand through all of this. And at times your going to need to squeeze it to remind me that your there. And Hopefully when all is over I'll remember to thank you."

I sat there with my eyes squeezed shut for the longest time, it felt like, and when I finally got the courage to peek at him, I saw his face beaming, covered with his trademark smile. He reached across the couch and took one of my hands in his, he looked at it for a minute, frowning, and then looked at my face. A smile broke out again and then he squeezed my hand.

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The next few months were torture. It started out oh so fabulously, and yes that was sarcasm. Jacob told me that we should tell the packs what had happened and what we were doing about it. So we called an emergency meeting. All the guys asked if their girls should come and I didn't really care honestly. Because really, if the boys had to know, it might as well be the whole fucking world. Plus they would wind up telling the girls anyways. So we were all gathered in Sam's house, cramped up on each piece of furniture that he had, and the rest of us were sitting on the floor.

Sam was standing behind an armchair that Emily was sitting in and looking at Jacob who was unsuccessfully pacing the floor, unsuccessfully because of all the boys sitting on the floor in his way. Sam's eyes were filled with a strange emotion that I couldn't quite figure out. Finally Jacob spoke up.

"This news isn't about me and it isn't about our reservation. This is about one of our own. Something terrible has happened, to one of our most..." He stopped and looked at me, a sad look came over his face, different from the ones the Cullens gave me but as if he were sorry for what he was about to do. "To one of our most vulnerable wolves." He knew I hated being called vulnerable, but it was true now and I knew that now. I just closed my eyes trying to forget about it.

All of the guys faces adopted the same worried expression. They all started asking questions at the same time like, what's gong on? Who are you talking about? And what happened? I looked up at Jake and he sighed.

"It's Leah." He told them. They all got very quiet, and looked at me and then back to Jake and then back to me again, their heads bobbing back and forth. "She was... In the forest about two or so months ago. Some... Some... Some fucking bastard raped her there and left her."

I looked over at Sam to see what his reaction was. I wasn't head-over-heels in love with him anymore, I just felt kind of possessive about him. I wanted him to remember me, and to never forget what he did to me. But before I could get a look at Sam's face, I was stopped by Emily's. Her eyes were wide, and her mouth hung slightly open in shock. Her eyes met mine and she popped out from her chair, and came right to my side. She cradled my face with one hand and held one of my hands in her other one.

Everyone in the room was looking at me, including Jacob. He wanted me to tell everyone the rest of my news. Great.

"I'm doing okay, if any of you were curious." I sarcastically told them all and I could feel Emily's hand squeeze mine. "But there's more." I looked at Emily and her eyebrows furrowed as the sadness crept onto her features. The scars on her face only made her look more morose.

"I'm pregnant." Emily's horror stricken face let out a gasp, and I looked over at the rest of the group. Most of the group had the same expression as Emily, but Sam's face was different.

* * *

Through the months, I had grown to look quite the pregnant lady. I had gotten a new wardrobe, and the girls even threw me a surprise baby shower. When my mom moved out to live with her new boyfriend, I moved into my mother's master bedroom so that I could have more room to have the crib and all. Quil and Embry had decided that they were gonna find the 'guy' that had raped me, and I think over time it just became a game to them. But that didn't bother me, I knew it was bound to happen with Embry heading up the team. Besides, I wasn't really concerned about it anymore.

That was because of Jacob. He really did stand there by my side and hold my hand through it all. He was with me during the first ultrasound, and he was with me every single morning to hold my now long hair out of my face, and rub my back in comfort as I was puking my guts out due to morning sickness.

But he shocked me the day he leaned over and kissed me while we were watching a movie on the television. It was unlike any other kiss I had ever had, it was so much better. It was full of passion and a love I had never noticed was so strong. I totally trusted that boy with my heart.

We both decided it would be best for the little girl, yes we found out for sure, if she had a mother _and_ a father. So Jacob was going to marry me after she was born. We had it all planed out, and My life was actually looking up for once.

It was summer break, and all the guys were out of school. Not including Jacob, because he dropped out to get a mechanic job, which I wasn't so happy about but if it pays the bills...

The boys were over at our (yes our, Jacob and I) house watching some game when I got up to get a snack in the kitchen. I dropped the bag of chips on the floor and reached down to get them when it happened. Yes, my water broke, and I promptly freaked out.


	6. Chapter 6

I had the rail on the edge of the hospital bed in a death grip. I was trying to do the breathing exercises that I had learned, but it hurt way too much. It was a bajillion times worse than PMS cramps. It was so bad I just made up a number for it, bajillion.

Carlisle had decided to have me in the hospital in Forks to give birth. The entire ride over was great because I was screaming at Jacob as he sped over there, the both of us cramped up in his tiny car, while he was phoning the Cullens to tell them what was going on.

For some odd reason the entire pack had decided that they should be there. And not just my pack but Sam's pack too. They were once again sprawled out everywhere, on the (yes only one)couch, the (also only one) chair, and all over the floor. Their girls were all crowded around me, trying to calm me and tell me how to do what I was doing. Which was give birth to a baby. Which also coincidentally none of them have ever done. I was hot and sweaty, tired, and annoyed by all the people in the room.

"Will all of you shut the fuck up! God Dammit!" I yelled at all of them, and an awkward silence came over the room as the girls all took a step back and their mates came to their side protectively. "Just can I have like Emily, Jake and Seth only in here?" I asked. "Holy fuck!" I was interrupted by a contraction, and Jacob guided all the others outside the room to wait. Emily came to my side, and Seth lounged on the couch. Jake came to my other side, and I noticed that Sam stayed behind too. I didn't care though, I could deal with him. But I was missing my mother. She was on a vacation with her new boyfriend, and wouldn't be able to get here until it was all over.

Sam sat down in the seat beside the bed, and I noticed he was about to try and start conversation with me. But creepy Cullen came in to check on me. He prodded at me and asked me a few stupid questions one of course being "So how are you feeling Leah?" I wanted to punch him in the face, stupid vamp.

I clenched the handles on the bed harder, and they broke. "How the fuck do you think I feel?" I yelled at him as I flung the broken handles away from me. He raised his eyebrows and then gave me a nervous smile before he took Jake outside to talk to him instead of irritating me. Sam got up from his seat and came to my side.

"Hey, maybe we can get you some drugs or something to stop the pain. I'll go check." He said.

" Leah." He tacked my name onto the end of his sentence as he went towards the door, and my heart practically jumped out of my chest.

_"Leah"_ The moaning of my name, that night on the forest floor. The burning feeling of his skin against mine _because he was part werewolf._ The way he was strong enough to literally rip my dress off my body _because he was part werewolf. _The fact that the convenience store was right by Emily and Sam's house.

_Because he was part werewolf._

"Oh My God!" I screamed and Sam turned around to see what was wrong, and since he was already halfway out the door, the door open a crack so creepy Cullen and Jacob raced into the room too.

"What?! What happened? Are you okay?" Jacob asked me frantically as he came to my side, holding my hand in comfort. I pointed at Sam and started stuttering. Jacob turned around to look at Sam. "What did you say?" He accused Sam, standing up menacingly, sticking his finger in his face. Emily jumped up beside him, to stand in his defense.

"He didn't say anything wrong, I don't think. He was going to see if he could help her get an epidural for her pain." Emily defended her man. I found my voice finally and started sceaming.

"It's him, HIM!" I screeched, and Carlisle came to my side, crouching to look me in the face.

"Leah, you need to calm down, you could hurt the baby." He told me trying to get me to lay down, he was holding me still to stop me from jumping right out of the bed, which was my plan. I was going to murder him. Another contraction came, and I cursed out loud.

"God dammit! You fucking bastard! You! It's you! This is all your fault! You BASTARD!" I yelled at Sam as I clutched at my stomach in pain. Jacob's face furrowed in confusion. But Sam's knew what was going on. His eyes got very wide, in realization of what was going on. He backed away from me and backed into Seth who was now standing behind him. "I want him out of this room now! Jacob! Jake!" I started to scream his name, edging on hysterical.

Sam turned around and bolted out the door, leaving a dazed and confused Emily behind. She gathered herself after giving me a concerned look, and darted after , who was crouched by my side next to Carlisle, took a hold of me and was holding my hand and caressing my face reassuringly, trying to calm me down. Carlisle started yelling at me to try and keep breathing the way I was taught, and I realized I was still screeching. I stopped myself, and tried to catch my breath.

"What is going on baby?" Jake asked me, trying to read my face.

"He, that thing, is... Is... He's it!" I said pointing at the door Sam had bolted out of, just seconds earlier. Jake still wasn't getting it. I looked at Seth to see if he could get what I was trying to say, by way of some weird sibling telekinesis or something, and then his eyes got wide in understanding too.

"Jake! Sam... He's the one who raped Leah." Seth told him, and Then Jake adapted the same face that had been used by everyone else in this room, the wide eyed, jaw dropped, gasping reaction that the others had when they knew that the culprit was found.

Jake jumped up from his spot and bolted out the door, probably after Sam and I cried after him. "Jake! Jake come back! I can't do this without you!" My chest tightened. I hadn't done a thing without him yet, I couldn't breathe. Who cares about Sam, let the bastard go die. I need Jake to be with me. Carlisle also decided that now was the time to really start.

Seth came to my side and knelt down in the spot that Jake had been in and took my hand, bless his heart. "Leah, listen to me, you don't need anyone. You are Leah Clearwater. You are the strongest person I know. I used to look up to you, your my sister, and I love you, I will always be there for you. No matter what, boys will never stop disappointing you. None but me, okay? You CAN do this!" He told me, and I started to cry, my baby brother, my sweet, innocent, loving brother.

I nodded my head, determined as I was helped to be moved into position to give birth, officially. They hooked my feet into that contraption, and sat me up as Carlisle sat down right in front of me to help me deliver my baby.

* * *

"There!" Creepy Cullen said, as I felt the last of it over, I could hear the screams of my baby. I looked down and Cullen was holding a wrinkly, red, and goo covered little me. "It's a girl, Leah." He told me and I smiled, I could feel my hand being squeezed by Seth who had been there beside me the entire time and he reached up and pushed my hair away from my sweaty face.

"Hey, you did it." Seth said as I turned to look at him. I could feel my face stretched into a ridiculous smile, and I looked back at Carlisle who had passed my baby to Edward Cullen who was acting as nurse, since we didn't know if things would be radically different from a normal birth.

I leaned back into the bed and tried to catch my breath, as all of my pack came inside to congratulate me. Embry went strait to Edward to see my little girl and started whooping and hollering. "Hot Damn! Leah's got her a girl!" He yelled and I laughed, leave it to Embry. Quil held little Claire up to see my little girl and Claire giggled excitedly. I noticed that Sam's pack didn't come in, and neither did Jake.

"Embry, where's Jake?" I asked him, and he thankfully pulled away from my precious new daughter, I was so afraid of one of the boys imprinting on my child. Embry's face became very somber and his brows furrowed in obvious remorse. My heart bounced in my chest, nervously.

"Jake is taking care of..." Embry trailed off and looked at little Claire in Quil's arms. "He's taking care of some business." Embry said and then came to sit in the chair on my other side. "I'm worried about him, Leah." Embry whispered and I looked up to see Quil trying to distract Claire from noticing the "grown-up talk." I leaned in closer to Embry to hear him and so did Seth. "He didn't tell what was going on but all of a sudden Sam bursts out the door and runs down the hall and away, then Emily does the same, going after him I assume and moments later Jake follows suit, looking like he wanted to kill him. I'm afraid Jake was planing to attack Sam in the forest nearby. All of Sam's pack left after him, telling their girls to go home." Embry told us.

I looked over at Seth who held my eyes for a minute before looking past me. I turned to see what he was looking at, and creepy Cullen was holding my my daughter.

"Have you come up with a name, Leah?" He asked me. He was going to hand her to me, I could tell, and I immediately was overcome with fear. What if I dropped her, or she didn't like me, or she started crying. My thoughts were stopped when I felt her little body draw close to mine. She was perfection.

I cradled her against my chest and stared down at her little face. "Marie, Marie Anne Black." I announced. "After her grandmother." I had secretly decided to name her after Jacob's deceased mother a few months back, as a very small way to show Jake that I appreciated everything he was doing and sacrificing for me.

Little Marie made a small cooing noise and I beamed. I looked around me, at my brothers: Seth, Quil, Embry. This was my family, they would never desert me, and even Jake, I knew Inside myself he was fighting for my honor. I couldn't ask for any more than that.

* * *

When Jake finally came home, he had a few minor scratches from his fight with Sam, but had left a huge rift between the two packs.

He had come out and accused Sam of raping me in front of his pack, and Sam had naturally said it wasn't true. The fighting ensued and Jake had been pulled off of Sam, by Paul. It had been decided that an unofficial split between the packs had been made, and other than Paul, who was married to Jake's sister, none of the pack's were to associate with each other again, since neither Jake nor Sam were backing down.

Jake came home to find me with Little Marie, and Had practically jumped to my side to see her. He kept apologizing to me about not being there for the birth until I was so annoyed I told him if he didn't stop I would give him something to really regret. I wasn't sure what yet, but I could think of something.

Thankfully, no one imprinted on our little girl, and we both breathed a sigh of relief. That was not a road we wanted to go down. We wanted her life to be as normal as possible, even if her dad was only sixteen and mom nineteen when she was born.

Embry, Quil, and Seth were very loyal to Jake's orders and my testimony that Sam had been the one and hadn't brought it up since.

My life became very routine, over time. And I felt that my life was pretty normal, for a mom. I stayed at home taking care of Marie until Jake came home from work when I started to make dinner and then he would clean up mess and we would cuddle and play with Marie until her bed time.

Our lives became pretty normal, we stopped phasing, leaving that up to Sam and his pack. We let Embry and Quil phase when they wanted, but for the most part we were a non-phasing pack. And I was okay with that. I loved being mommy, and I took great care in loving and caring for my extended family. I guess I couldn't have asked for a better way for my nightmare of a life to end up right.

Tell me that it's gonna be okay

tell me that you'll help me find my way

tell me you can see the light of dawn is breaking

tell me that it's gonna be all right

tell me that you'll help me fight this fight

tell me that you won't leave me alone in this

Tell me I can make it through this day

I don't even have the words to pray

you have been the only one who never left me.

Help me find the way through all my fears

help me see the light through all my tears

help me see that I am not alone in this.

Cause I need

I need a hand to hold

to hold me from the edge

the edge I'm sliding over slowly

Cause I need

I need your hand to hold

to hold me from the edge

the edge I'm sliding past

hold on to me.

* * *

Whoot! I'm done with the story!... Now for a preview of the sequel...


	7. Chapter 7

Ironically, I came up with this story long before Hold. And it had nothing to do with the story at all. But I can change a few things I think I might end up liking this one a lot more than Hold, but I don't know yet. I'm just proud I finished a story, I've never done that yet haha. Well let me know what you think!

* * *

Lilly took one last look in her compact mirror. She could hear her friends giggling beside her in the car; this was their first high school dance. Lilly and her friends had spent months preparing for this moment. And now that it was here, she didn't want it to be over. Kind of like waiting all year for Christmas, and then in a matter of minutes it's all over. Lilly and her friends had gone to countless stores trying to find the perfect dress, and spent hours pouring over thousands of magazines trying to find the ultimate hairstyle. Lilly's older sister was going to the dance too, but since she was a senior and not a freshman like Lilly and her friends, this wasn't as big of a deal to her.

Carolina and Jessica, Lilly's friends, had convinced her to get the dress she had now; a giant pink poof, with a tight sequined bodice. Her dad didn't really like the price tag and had thrown a fit when the bill on his credit car came in the mail, but the way she looked in her mom's full length mirror made it worth the ungodly hour she had to get up tomorrow morning and trudger herself over to her dad's smelly mechanic shop. It's worth it, she kept telling herself.

Lilly and her friends stepped into the gymnasium of their high school and it felt magical to Lilly and her friends. There was a D.J. on one side of the gym and a table of cake with a punch bowl. The girl's classmates were covering the floor, dancing with each other, but what caught Lily's eye was a certain boy standing on the other side of the gym. Lilly didn't recognize the boy, she had never met him before in her life. But there they were, staring at each other, fixed on each other.

Lilly felt herself being drawn to the unknown boy, despite her not knowing him. He was flanked on both sides by other boys, each of them giant, just not as big as the boy Lilly was walking toward. There was something about the boy that seemed familiar, but she couldn't place as to what it was. Lilly had made it to the boy now and was standing right in front of him, just staring. The boy stuttered a bit then composed himself, coughing.

"I'm Sam, Sammy Uley." He said extending his hand to Lilly. She could already tell he was a gentleman. Instead of slinking up to her, and saying some cheesy pick-up line he was nervous and shy. Lilly took and shook his huge hand; it enveloped her small hand, surrounding it like a shell. Now that she was this close to this Sammy, she realized fully how huge he was. He seemed a full two heads taller than herself, and he had these huge wide shoulders. Like Lilly and everyone else at the dance, he was Native Indian, but since Lilly lived in and went to school on an Indian reservation, it was expected. But this Sammy and his friends weren't like other boys from the reserve. All of them were huge, but most boys wore their hair long to their shoulders, but these guys had their hair cropped short.

"I'm Lilly, Lilly Black"


End file.
